It's funny how this disease can make you actually euphoric some days. Today, I've had lots of energy, felt 'in control' and wide awake, ready to take on the world. How can a disease be so incredibly odd? It ravages your body and plays tricks on your mind at the same time. And the funniest part of it all is that I am fully aware that all this stuff I 'feel' is the disease. Geez...it's a wonder I am not in a hospital with cushy walls..lol.
I can feel myself plunging as I type this..getting tired & achey...oh, the joy of Cushing's.
On another note, I get really tired of explaining what is wrong with me to people. It is such a hard disease to describe and most people just don't 'get it.' And I get that it is hard for someone to understand that I'd be excited about surgery or why having a tumor is a 'good' thing. I mean, I totally get it is hard to understand but still, it wears me out attempting to help people understand. And it really drives me nuts when the same people ask me all the time if I am 'feeling any better'....I want to scream, "NO!!!! and I won't until they get this thing out of me, how many times do I have to tell you that?" Of course, I would never say that...and then, I feel guilty for feeling that way. I know they mean no harm but it is so tough to feel so misunderstood all the time.....
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Yes, answering the same questions over and over gets old- especially the do you feel better question. People also hear what they want to hear. good luck to you- I had/have cushing's. I've had two pituitary surgeries and just had a bilateral adrenalectomy about two weeks ago- I've been following your blog for a couple weeks now- hang in there!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Martha! It is so nice to know I am not alone! :)
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