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Monday, June 6, 2011

Let's see where this road leads...

mm..well, I think I am still on the right path.  I am hesitant to get too excited because the road has been and really, still is long.  I've hit so many bumps that I am sick just from the ride!  Anyhow, I think I posted that I changed doctors back in November. I am pretty convinced that was one of the best decisions I have ever made.  It confirms the old 'go with your gut' type-thing.  I knew I had to.  It sucks because the new office is 2 hours away and I have to be there at 8:00 AM for labs and then an afternoon appointment.  It makes for a long day and more time away from work than I care to have to take.  Nonetheless, it is worth it.  My new doctor knows her stuff and everything she has said to me or done has proven it.  I am losing weight pretty consistently, which is soooo nice after gaining constantly for a few years.  I thought I was seriously going to bust at the seams if I gained any more but anybody with Cushings or who have been on steroids knows that weight is a losing battle.  You can eat nothing and gain 2 lbs.  And its not just the weight gain, you swell and hurt....blech.  Anyways, I am off track.  I have lost about 25 lbs so far but the very best part is that I am starting to feel better.  I have energy again..not tons and not much at all compared to the average woman my age but compared to a year ago..wow, it is amazing.  And people tell me every day that I am looking like my old self again..that is worth a million bucks everytime I hear that.  It's hard to explain to someone who has never expierienced it but when you look in the mirror and don't recognize the reflection, it does something to you mentally. It's more than depressing, it is downright sad and it hurts.  And then you wonder if that's what you see, what does everyone else see?  A big, fat blob with thinning hair and bad skin....that's what I saw.  While I don't see what I want to see just yet, I don't see the blob anymore.  My hair is pretty much back to normal, skin is normal..still fat but not as..haha. 
Medically speaking--still on the steroid.  I go at the end of this month for lab work to see if I can wean more or need to sit still...I am sure hoping for more weaning.  I cannot wait to be off for good.
So, I guess my status for now is just trucking along...but looking forward to the end of this road!